15 days and counting

15 days to go.

I posted Aedyn's gifts on her site...so be sure to check it out.

Today's NST and OB appt went quite well.
She is very active and got buzzed again because she decided to take a nap.....but all is well with this little girl.

Here is the scoop on the induction -

on Aug 19th at 10:15 - we have an amnio scheduled, the results should be back by 3PM - if all is good with her lungs and she is ready - we will get a call from Good Sam letting us know there is a bed and to head down to be induced.....now mind you, this call could come anytime after 3PM on the 19th.

I am starting to get anxious and a little confused about my emotions. The closer it is time for me to walk into those doors at Good Sam, the more I want to turn and run.
This is supposed to be a happy time, but I am sad. She is coming into this world without her brothers and I think that this is just going to be hard.

I really miss them and am starting to miss them even more as the days come closer for her arrival.

It is not something that DH really talk about - it is like I have started all over with the stages of grief and I am really lost. I am so afraid that I won't know how to take care of her because I am lost with Ethan and Andrew. I know that sounds crazy.

I did schedule a grief appt during my maternity leave - so that I could at least have someone to talk with. I dont want my grief for the boys to be misunderstood.

I know she will consume my world and my life, I just dont want my boys to be forgotten.