P17 shots vs PIO

Well tonight is the night - Shot 2 of the P17 shot. Not bad, but I am back to those 1.5inch needles 22 gauge - they are thick needles. I was getting use to those 25 gauge from the PIO in Ethyl Olate.

P17 you ask - this is 17-hydroxyprogesterone caproate in CASTOR OIL, yes i said castor oil - thick is an understatement.

All in all, it is once a week and is doing a good job so far as i know.

I can say that after the shot - i cant quite feel the baby bouncing around as much.

Since the formula has some type of muscle relaxant to keep the uterus from contracting - i figure the baby is still in there bouncing around, i just can feel it quite a much.

I love my doppler, i still have not figured out how to record it yet, but am working on it.

Have a great week friends - March is almost over!

What a week

Okay so I figured out how to do a few changes to this blog - i am getting used to it still.

the week has been quite busy, with work, taxes, and sleep :)

Last night, i was playing with the home doppler and found the baby's heartbeat right away! 149! What a lovely sound, i have to figure out how to record it so i can post it....give me a week or so to do that.

This weekend is all about making room for the baby. we are going to be cleaning house and getting rid of things we no longer use, need, or have never used and will not be using! Luke AFB Airman's attic (the Air Forces Goodwill) here we come with lots and lots!

I have also been blessed by two wonderful friends with baby clothes ---- so much i have to buy more containers!

we are going to begin getting the baby's room ready. i am setting aside time at the end of April to finish our wonderful snoopy curtains and get some of the pillow's and blankets done.....my sewing machine wont know what hit it!

I am still a little worried as this next month is very critical for us. with the twins, Ethan's water broke at wk 18 which would be next saturday, and we delivered him at wk 20 and 5 days, then Andrew at wk 20 and 6 days. As wk 21 passes, it will be a goal to make it to wk 24, then wk 28, then wk 32, and finally wk 36 - not really sure how far i will go after that.

As my angels continue to watch over their little brother/sister - and I continue to walk in faith that God has a plan for this child - I am still struggling with fear.

DH and I are off to watch a movie and spend some time together! Have a great weekend my friends!

A wonderful Easter

So this weekend was Easter - what is Easter really?

Most of the world celebrates the joy that Jesus brought to us with his sacrafice, others have no idea and buy bunnies, eggs, and jelly beans.

I am torn with a baby on the way and the loss of my two boys weather to fall into the societal norm for the occasion.

It is very difficult to be happy when there is still so much sadness in my heart. At the same time, I am so very thankful for this opportunity and still much sadder that for this lenten season, as Ash Wednesday came, i gave up on having twins as baby A's heart stopped beating. I am then reminded that on Good Friday - I was given a Good Report.

And I know how very blessed I am to have Jesus in my life to be with me all the time. Without him, I would be lost in a sea of darkness and dispair over Ethan and Andrew.....yet without him, I would also not be carrying this little peanut.

Oh what a confusing time - I guess that could be a big reason that I had an extremely awful headache Sunday Evening, or it could just be that I was due for an extremely awful headache.

Thanks for listening to me ramble today! Have a blessed week.

Cervical Length Scan

so today is the big day!! CL Scan went very well 5.7 cm!!

and we got some pics of the little one - upside down---standing on his/her head. and what a beautiful spin, long long legs and arms.

two weeks we get the big Scan - where they measure everything!

15w5d - March 20

okay tonight is the night before the Cervical Length Scan ---- tomorrow i will find out if we are a go for the cerclage or if all is good.

Since i still dont feel pregnant, as i was bless again with no m/s - i am still waiting for the second shoe to drop.

BTW - we are not going to find out the sex of the baby!

the big u/s for all measurements is on April 4.

I hope to keep up with this blog more frequently. So keep me on my toes here friends!

Living in the Present

so 6 wks had passed and AF shows up right on que.
we prepare for a FET to occur in Nov - too soon right - no, not soon enough.

Although loosing my wonderful, beautiful baby boys, the aching in my heart is more devastating with out a focus. So my focus is having a family so my angels have siblings to look after.

We are a go for Nov - but it doesnt work.

the RE gives us the green light to go again in Dec. So on CD3 i do my b/w and my u/s.
And I have a slight breakdown - after consulting with my regular RE, we decided to postpone until Feb or Mar - when emotionally and physically i will be ready.

But our hope in trying with my last prescription of clomid and doing the exact same regiment that we did with FET takes over! So we do and OPK after OPK after OPK - we finally get the LH surge and we BD and we BD and we BD.....what is the worst that can happen another BFN.
well that is what i get - HPT after HPT after HPT. when i have given in at 14DPO to just wait for Feb or Mar - the HPT has the lightest second line!

So off to Wal.mart we go - to buy more - and i test again - BFP, BFP, BFP!

Dec 31 - the next morning - I go in for the b/w ------- Beta 64
Jan 2 - b/w Beta 124
Jan 10 - b/w Beta 2742

Jan 17 - u/s in SD with Dr Lau.fer --------------TWINS!

fast forward to 9w6d - Baby A's heart has stopped beating and will soon be gone.

Okay so I fast forward quite a bit and will leave out all the wonderful details.....TMI

so at 19wks - Ethan's water broke - God led us to the hospital before this happened.
And at 20w4d (Aug24)- 3:41 AM - Ethan entered into this world only to have lost his life just seconds before we could meet.
Dr Sa.wai - tried her best to keep Andrew in the womb and for 33 hours and 1 minute, he continued to thrive and grow. But to no avail - he came to be with us at 12:42PM (Aug25). He stayed with us for just under 3 hours before he joined his brother in the Kingdom of Heaven.

I am sorry I just cant get into the details with this one, it is still so very difficult for me. I have my good days and my bad days.