Living in the Present

so 6 wks had passed and AF shows up right on que.
we prepare for a FET to occur in Nov - too soon right - no, not soon enough.

Although loosing my wonderful, beautiful baby boys, the aching in my heart is more devastating with out a focus. So my focus is having a family so my angels have siblings to look after.

We are a go for Nov - but it doesnt work.

the RE gives us the green light to go again in Dec. So on CD3 i do my b/w and my u/s.
And I have a slight breakdown - after consulting with my regular RE, we decided to postpone until Feb or Mar - when emotionally and physically i will be ready.

But our hope in trying with my last prescription of clomid and doing the exact same regiment that we did with FET takes over! So we do and OPK after OPK after OPK - we finally get the LH surge and we BD and we BD and we BD.....what is the worst that can happen another BFN.
well that is what i get - HPT after HPT after HPT. when i have given in at 14DPO to just wait for Feb or Mar - the HPT has the lightest second line!

So off to Wal.mart we go - to buy more - and i test again - BFP, BFP, BFP!

Dec 31 - the next morning - I go in for the b/w ------- Beta 64
Jan 2 - b/w Beta 124
Jan 10 - b/w Beta 2742

Jan 17 - u/s in SD with Dr Lau.fer --------------TWINS!

fast forward to 9w6d - Baby A's heart has stopped beating and will soon be gone.