Where to find me

I have been so busy that I haven't really had much time to post.

I am now 6 days late and we have a lining u/s scheduled for 2/17 and our FET scheduled the following week....

so we will see.

Pray for AF to show up!

You can find more posts.....well at least a few more on Aedyn's blog:

http://aedynsatori.blogspot.com/

Come see us over there!

CD73 and Merry Christmas!

Yes you read right today is CD73 and just became CD1!!! My body's way of giving me a wonderful Christmas :)

Now if she will just be sure to show up again in 28 days.

This would have us planned for our FET the first week of March!!!! WOOHOO!

CD 51 and counting

Yes you read right I am on CD 51 and still no sight of AF. Definately not prego and not breastfeeding anymore.
So where oh where can she be?

I have a dr appt on tuesday, not for this, but i will ask they refer me to a GYN to get her started again. It is important that I get AF again and regularly in order to have our FET in Feb/Mar!

Being Thankful for year 2008.

We have been asked to give our testimony as to why we are thankful this year. So I thought I would also fill you in.

We will recap last year....

After years of trying to grow our family DH and I turned to Fertility Treatments and went through IVF in April. We carried twins until Aug 24/25, 2007. At just over 20 wks, they came into the world and were with us for such a very short time. Through many months of grieving, we tried again only to find out the week of Thanksgiving last year, that we were not expecting. We scheduled to try again in December, and after quite a bit of anxiety and overwhelming grief for the Christmas Holiday, we cancelled our frozen transfer and decided that we could try on our own with the fertility meds we still had. And on December 30th, when I had all but given up on the idea of being pregnant, I took a home pregnancy test and it was a very very very light positive. I went the next day to confirm with a blood test - we were indeed pregnant.
Our year started out great and in the middle of this great year, we lost 2 beautiful boys, only to end this year on the same great note we started on. Within weeks of the new year, we found out that not only did we have 2 angels, we were expecting 2 babies again. We were overwhelmed with joy and fear.
It was Ash Wednesday - what would I give up this lenten season? God made that choice for me, one of the twins heartbeat had stopped. We would wait and watch over this pregnancy for the next 27 weeks. This was a long journey, but this year we are so thankful for the prayers, the doctors, and the gift that God gave us with Aedyn and 3 Angels to watch over her.

Still no sign

Still no sign of AF - and no....there is no way i am pregnant.

Not even one symptom has peeked yet!

Where oh where are you AF?

okay - so i had to check when was the last time i thought i had AF? the 10th of october, so i should have seen here again on the 7th of Nov, well today is the 11th and she is no where is sight or symptoms.
i should take bets on when she might show up. i really would like to get on a schedule again quickly - as march is coming quickly and i really want to do our FET like planned.

A pretty quite week

well my last post was about the disappointment of the LLL meeting - the rest of the week has been pretty quite as far as life goes. the noise has been coming from the horrible gas little miss Aedyn has been having. It has not been a fun time, but I think that is now behind us. She has been doing great last night and today - so we count our blessings.
Tomorrow we get to see mr Jake - her little boyfriend! He is a real handsome baby. He will be 4 wks old on Saturday!!!

High Expectations

Okay - I guess my expectations were set a little high after being a part of Resolve group meetings.....the LLL meeting was not what I expected at all. In fact, it was hardly a meeting at all.
I will start from the beginning.

I arrived at the coffee shop and found the other ladies and babies/toddlers.
Upon arrival, I was not greeted until after I said hello - is the the LLL meeting?
Then someone said oh yes, come join us. They seem to be so involved with just chatting amongst themselves.
There was no introduction period, and there was no useful discussions. It was primarily one of the three leaders of the group asking me questions one on one and then giving me a bunch of brochures.
There was only one other lady there that had a little girl just about a week younger than Aedyn. And she was there primarily to network since she is new in town.
No body there had issues with milk production let alone issues with breastfeeding.
Except the other lady and I - I am not really sure how she felt about the meeting, but I thought it was a waste of my morning. I am really disappointed. I was hoping I guess to have a more formalized discussion like we do with infertility at the resolve meetings.

Oh well - I guess when you set the bar too high, you are bound to be disappointed.

On to the afternoon - Aedyn and I went to visit our wonderful friends Mar.gie and Bo.bbi - we had a wonderful lunch and afternoon chat. Until Aedyn was ready to go home and sleep. So off to home we are.

AF or Not AF

So I thought I had AF start on the 29th, it lasted for 4 days. Then I had AF start again on the 3rd, it is still here. So was the 29th AF or is the 3rd AF?

I am going to guess that the 29th was and so is the 3rd - with the nursing and the domperidone and having given birth, I think that the uterus is still shrinking down and the body is still trying to get rid of the excess blood.

I would say that my next cycle would truely be a normal cycle - hopefully it doesnt show up for a few more weeks though, then I can start to figure out my timing again.

Tomorrow is the La.Lache.Leage meeting over at a coffee shop down the way from the base, Aedyn and I are going to take a chance and attend the meeting. I am hoping to meet other mommies and find some support for the over flow of emotions I am having for not being able to produce enough for her.

Thursday is here 2 month appointment, so I will get to find out how much she now weighs and how much taller she is - hopefully she is doing great even though she still doesnt eat much at all.

well she is crying now, so I am going to sign off and give her lots of hugs and kisses :)

It has been a day!

Okay where have I been? updating Aedyn's blog more often.

So AF came and went, and then showed up again today! Oh well, maybe last week was not AF??

My little Aedyn is doing so well, be sure to check out her blog for updated pictures.

So - I called the NTC (our IVF clinic) and found out the scoop on what is going on.

Basically we cannot scheduled a FET until it has been 6 months since Aedyn's birth - Navy Rules. But we can call 2 months prior to schedule the baseline u/s and the possible FET.

So we are looking at calling in January for a beginning of March baseline and FET - which if it works will bring us a little one sometime in October/November......perfect timing but if it doesn't we'll end up doing FET's until it does work.

Right now we have 16 frozen embryos....I would love it if we could have all 16 but, that is simply out of the question!!! with my age, the time involved, the cost to raise a football team, and the fact that - it is impossible for all 16 frozen embies to make it to implantation - so we pray for one, while silently I continue to pray for 2.

Once we have delivered #2(and maybe #3).......we will be donating our remaining embryos to other couples who are still on this journey.

We know there are several blood tests required and a really huge screening for both DH and I, but we also know that there are loving families out there who are struggling just like we did to have their family begin.

We prefer to have an open donation, to allow the parents to know who we are and for them to be able to contact us while their little one grows up. I feel that this would be a better situation if for some reason they need additional medical information or if our little one gets sick and needs us. In addition, the world is a small place and I would prefer to know that our children if they ever were to meet would NEED to know that they are biologically 100% brother/sister.

Okay - now that I have rambled on and on - I am going to sign off and spend some time with DH and Aedyn.