PAUSE THE MUSIC

to see Aedyn's 26 week ultrasound via youtube.com at the bottom of the blog posts.
Lilypie 1st Birthday PicLilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The First Milestone

well - we made it past 20w6d and i feel a heavy weight lifted, but i am still struggling with the exhale. now i wait for wk24 to come and hopefully go to wk 28.

as my birthday comes and the just over a week comes mothers day, i am feeling a little uneasy. more like a basket case. i cannot seem to get past the fact that i should be holding two wonderful and lively boys on may 10th.....and i wont be. however, i know in my heart and mind, that i should be greatful and joyful for being able to know that this little one is still growing and thriving. at the same time, i feel so much guilt to want to feel this way.

i am grateful, but i am sad inside.
i am joyful, but i am still sad inside.

i have had 2 pregnancies in my life and have now lost 3 children - this math just doesnt work.

i pray that God has something extraordinary in store for this little Aedyn.

1 comment:

Josée Martens said...

CONGRATULATIONS Christine! Oh my goodness. I've missed chatting with you and I was out of town. I am so happy to see here finishing out week 20.

I know you are so sad in some ways right now. And that you miss the boys and wish you could be with all of your children. Big hugs to you, little cutie.

Aedyn at 26 weeks (Only You - David Crowder Band)